Seasons

Summer fall winter spring

caught in an endless loop

never able to pause longer in summer

As life is linear, spiraling through the seasons

The people and places I have loved stay  

Even as they silently transform to memories

Todays loves and beauty will be nostalgia

Or an aching regret.

A Garden

Gardening seems to be all work. Digging and dirt, lifting and hauling, thorns and stickers. Itchy weeds and slimy slugs. The rewards are beauty and color, the growth and the changing light. A garden gives you time to appreciate the lessons from nature. How the earth renews and heals itself.

Summer

The summer of backyards and dogs and friends. Of being able to bike or walk anywhere you need to go. The back door open all day. Days with no end in sight. Fruit on the trees. The sprinkler. The smell of sun on your skin as you lay in bed.

Correlation or Causation?

Does being depressed make the days go wrong? Or do the days going wrong make you depressed? If you force yourself to look at everything differently will the world be happier? If you force yourself to be happier, will everything go right? Is it cause and effect? Or random variables?

Recurring Dreams

Trying to swim, but one arm is paralyzed. Running in a race, but one leg is paralyzed. In a tennis tournament, but cannot find my court or partner or tennis shoes. Beaches. Always beaches with tremendous, fun waves that are exciting, never threatening. Flying so easily from tree to tree.

Problems

Blaise Pascal: "All of humanity’s problems stem from man’s inability to sit quietly in a room alone."

All of humanity’s problems stem from the automobile. All of humanity’s problems stem from never having enough. All of humanity’s problems stem from testosterone. All of humanity’s problems will never be solved.

New Life

She is not the same dog I’ve always known. She now inhabits the world that transitions to the next. She won’t ever be back, so there is no point in waiting. Am I keeping her alive because of this false hope? Keeping her alive for me and not for her?